All
Finding My Feet in Forum - An Introvert’s Guide
Oct 21, 2025
Before we begin, I think I need to state the obvious. I’m an introvert. Phew! That feels better! Look, I’m already sharing with you. I’m a grade-A shy girl with a long-standing love of avoiding talking with people I don’t know. I’m the person at the party who makes friends with the dog and hangs out near the chips, quietly people-watching. For a world of extraverts, this may seem sad. But I can assure you that all of us introverts are perfectly fine, thank you very much. Until we actually need to make those connections in order to grow.
Here’s a dive into how I found my feet in Key Associates Forum, and make sure that I was getting the most out of it.
What is a Forum Anyway?
This is an easy one to answer and a slightly harder one to get used to. Forum boils down to a group of like-minded individuals meeting at a set time to discuss their actual challenges. Forums date back hundreds, if not thousands of years. Think Ancient Greece. However, modern-day forums are something different, while the soul of it remains. Check out the history of Forum here.
Modern Forums can take many shapes and sizes. For example, you may be familiar with forums online and discussion boards, where gamers and show-enthusiasts talk about their favorite characters on a weekly basis. While your KA Forum may appreciate a good “whatcha watching” discussion, it’s an entirely different beast altogether. Key Associate Forums like the one I joined are, in essence, a high-performing peer group meeting where we discuss various real situations and offer support to our peers based on what is discussed. It is therapeutic. It is a group. Is it group therapy?
Okay, But I’m Only Doing This to Grow My Career
That is completely valid, and we have all been there at the beginning. I needed executive training, but wasn’t comfortable with a one-on-one or a classroom setting. Of course, I felt more comfortable in a group where I thought I could fade into the background a bit. And boy, was I wrong! True growth requires giving more of yourself.
My sponsor told me to lean into the process and roll with it. But that’s always easier said than done. When you attend your first Forum meeting, you are all essentially strangers. But this is where the magic of the process begins. The Forum elves have developed a tried-and-tested formula to help new members lean into the process. Here’s what I learned in my Forum’s early days:
No One. Nothing. Never.
This is something you will hear at every YPO-style Forum you attend. Each month, we go through the “norms” that are upheld by everyone who attends. Essentially, this means that we adhere to strict confidentiality regarding all information shared in Forum discussions.
This may seem a little overboard, especially if you think you will only be discussing work problems. However, your peer group Forum is more than just a regular peer group. By joining Forum, you agree to be there for one another for the ups, the downs, and all the confusion in between. Discussions may sometimes be about work, yes, but they will also often be about personal struggles, health issues, and even deep, previously unexplored thoughts. Because there is a duty of care with my Forum mates, and confidentiality is so strict, it allows for deeper connections to be formed early and quickly.
My footing here: I had to get comfortable telling my loved ones that it’s none of their business what I spoke about today in Forum.
The More I Open Up, the More I Receive
Have you ever tried to catch something with a closed hand? Doesn’t work so well, does it? The same can be applied to Forum. I was, at the beginning, understandably apprehensive of strangers, especially because I was joining a Virtual Forum. But now I understand that the more I give, the more I get. If I approach the discussion rounds openly and authentically, not only am I able to help my Forum mates, but I find that we reach solutions to problems that I’m only just starting to explore in my head.
One of the best things about Forum is that, in general, advice is prohibited. Instead, Forum uses the “experience share” model. This is intentional and effective. Instead of fearing what my Forum group might say, I am now keen to hear how they have tackled similar problems in the past. Instead of coming from a place of judgment, it comes from a “oh, I’ve totally been there and here’s what I did to overcome it.” I know that I can go to my Forum with the scary stuff because there will be no judgment and, more often than not, deep insights into how they have dealt with their own scary stuff.
My footing here: I never know how my story will help someone else find their answers. So I share freely and openly in the hopes that we’ll all benefit from the process.
Development and Learning Means Showing Up
One of the first things I noticed when I started my Forum was the fact that we got all of the meeting dates in advance. These meetings are usually once a month for a couple of hours. The meetings are more than just a monthly check-in. They are not optional.
Daunting, no? Especially to the shy, non-committal personality that I have. But there’s a reason for it. Again, if we think along the lines of group therapy, you won’t grow if you don’t show up. Of course, as we are now a year into the process, my individual Forum is able to make its own moves, to an extent. For example, if there are a few members who cannot make a specific meeting, we can all vote to change the date and/or time to accommodate each other. But, we are only able to do this now because we remember that we have agreed to support one another, and part of that support is making sure that we are available and that we prioritize these meetings.
But it’s deeper than just that. I am not just showing up because I’ve been told to, or because I’d feel bad for letting my Forum mates down. I am showing up for myself.
My footing here: Keeping my promises is an act of self-love.
Forum Retreats
I would be remiss if I did not mention Forum Retreat. Retreat is part of the Forum programme, where you meet in person over two days. Yes, that means socialising for more than the allocated two hours. (Deep breaths, shy girl, deep breaths).
Here’s the thing: it’s magical. Yes, it’s a lot of people-ing, and you do spend a lot of time together. But that time together is so beautiful that you blink and an entire day has passed. Retreat allows you to feel each other’s energy and get to know one another on a more intimate level. The time restrictions of regular forum meetings aren’t there, so you’re able to dive deeper. You’re also able to find the fun! From laughs over dinner to building inside jokes, retreat gives you the space to explore the different personalities in the group and build a better bond.
And I say this having just come back from my 2025 retreat. Yes, I did need a couple of days to recharge my social batteries, but I can honestly say that it is so, so worth the effort. I feel closer to my Forum mates, and I know that we understand each other better now. I’ve also found a new love for darts, which I will be doing with my friends - all thanks to the retreat activities.
My footing here: Sharing energy is just as important as sharing stories.
Leadership Development Forums for Executives
Forum is so much more than just a place where you go for leadership development. It’s a way to grow personally, professionally, and soulfully. I chose to dive in and give it my all, and I still find the joy in meeting with my Forum mates once a month. Every time I show up, I do so openly and with zero judgment, and this has now spilled over into my personal life. I find that when I speak with my friends, family, and even colleagues, I come from a place of listening to understand. I seldom give advice unless expressly asked for, and I share my experiences in the hopes that they may find help in my offering.
If you or your employer is looking into executive coaching, I find it helpful to ask myself, “Am I wanting to grow in a job, or am I wanting to grow as a human?” That’s what helped me to make the right call. Forum does it all.